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                      家庭教育為什么對孩子至關重要

                      來源:德智教育     作者:     發稿時間:2016/9/24 10:04:44

                      所謂說“種瓜得瓜,種豆得豆”還是有一定的道理的,家庭教育是給孩子打基礎的教育,身為父母為人處事、言行舉止都將直接影響到孩子的成長,所以一個人性格與幼年所受到的家庭教育有著緊密的關系。

                      在家庭中,每位家長都應擔負起教育子女的責任,重視孩子良好性格的培養,因為孩子大部分時間生活在家庭中,同父母親人朝夕相處,那么家庭環境、家庭教育的方式、家長的自身修養將給孩子的個性品質形成起到潛移默化的作用。孩子又正是性格形成的時期,因此,家庭教育對孩子性格形成有著重要的影響,每位家長應為孩子創造良好的家庭環境和采取良好的家庭教育方式,促進孩子良好性格的形成與發展。

                      一、幼兒時期是性格初步形成時期

                      性格是人在對待客觀現實的態度和行為方式中經常表現出來的,穩定而習慣的個性心理特征。人的性格發展又有著階段性。大體分為四個階段:“5至11歲左右為性格形成期;12至17歲左右是性格的定塑期;18至55歲為性格成熱期;56歲以上為性格更年期或老年期。”兒童是人的個性初步形成的時期。一至三歲前為個性萌芽時期;二是學前期是個性初步形成的時期。

                      許多心理學家認為,人的個性初步形成是從學前期開始的,正如有國外學者指出:“學前期是個性最初開始實際地形成時期。這個時期形成著最初的聯系和關系,這些聯系和關系構成活功的新的,更高級的統一休。同時也構成個性的新的,更高級的統一體。學前期的重要性也正是在這里。”這個時期的孩子雖然初步形成獨立處理事情的能力,但還極易接受社會環境的熏染,尤其是家庭中的影響。幼兒時期的個性形成是在素質、環境、教育統一作用中實現的。素質是個性形成與發展的物質前提,生理基礎是一種潛在的可能性。

                      而后天的環境和教育起決定的意義,其中教育在一定條件下起主導作用。孩子們自“哇吐”墮地就與家庭息息相關。出生后就會哭、吃奶,這些都是生物生存的需要,當他們在各自的家庭中一天天成一長起來,就會表現出:有的聰明、伶俐、智慧才能出眾,有的智力發展水平一般;有的形成了較好的行為習慣,有的就比較任性;有的勇敢、堅強、有毅力,有的膽小、懦弱、無耐力;有的積極參加學校的各項活動,有的孤僻、無熱情和主動性等等各種各樣的表現形式,說明了幼兒階段的家庭教育是十分重要的,能否在性格形成期奠定較好的基礎,將影響他們以后的人生。如果打下了好的基礎能促進他們積極向上,努力學習,走上工作崗位有一個熱情的工作態度。因此,在幼兒性格的形成時期,每位家長不可忽視家庭中教育的方法以及自身的性格修養。

                      二、家長的自身素質對孩子性格的影響

                      家長的言傳身教促進幼兒時期良好性格的形成。眾所周知,教育子女是父母的天職,孩子隨著年齡的逐漸增長,生理和心理的發展以及個性心理品質的形成與父母的言傳身教關系密切,在家庭中,父母的言行舉止每時每刻都在影響和教育著孩子,當孩子形成了優良的性格將對學習產生著積極的作用,就能把今天的學習與個人價值的體現以及與自己的理想和抱負聯系起來,自覺的積極的態度投入學習。從一點來說,父母自身的言行舉止對孩子的教育具有重要的意義。

                      蘇聯教育學家馬卡連柯就曾說過:“不要以為只有你們和兒童談話的時候,或教導兒童吩咐兒童的時候,才執行教育兒童的工作。在你們的每一瞬間,其實都在教育著兒童,甚至在你們不在家里的時候,你們怎樣穿衣服,怎樣跟別人談話,怎樣談論其他的人,你們怎樣表示歡欣和不快,怎樣對待朋友和仇敵、怎樣笑,怎樣讀報……所有這些,對兒童都有很大的意義。”

                      家長是孩子們特殊的老師,家庭是孩子們特殊的課堂,在孩子性格形成時期,家長的一言一行都顯得格外重要。言,指言教;行,指身教,兩者一致,孩子才能學有道理,行有榜樣,自然而然在家庭中的一日生活里受到教育,對孩子良好和不良好的影響是不知不覺中進行的,這種耳濡目染的作用,比學校教育,社會教育,要強烈深刻的多。有的父母不懂這個道理,往往造成不良的后果。據資料顯示,80%的青少年犯罪與家庭教育有關,尤其是父母品行不端的、行為不美的占相當的比例。無數的實踐證明,父母的言傳身教對孩子的性格形成起著極大的作用。

                      采取民主型的正確教育態度,孩子表現出活潑大方,聰明可愛,善于與人合作,具有獨立性,有堅強的毅力等優良的性格品質;而粗暴、溺愛的、專制的等不正確的教育態度,孩子們表現為孤獨、任性、依賴的、自我為中心的等等,由此,需要我們每位家長根據性格可塑性的特征,結合孩子們各個不同年齡階段生理和心理發展特點,嚴要適度,愛而不溺,循循善誘,因勢利導等正確的教育方式,去影響孩子逐步形成良好的性格。又因性格的可變性,決定了性格是可以培養的,這就為家長對孩子性格形成教育提供前提。

                      孩子在適應家庭環境的過程中,常以父母為最直接的模仿對象,形成自己的心理定式和性格特征。嬰幼兒對父母的態度特別敏感,父母的言行舉止足以影響孩子的情緒、意志和行為,久而久之化為孩子的性格,所以,父母要保持常態的、穩定的情緒。父母對孩子愛意的表達方式也會影響孩子的性格。對小嬰兒的愛可以外露,使他感受到父母的疼愛和保護。對兩三歲的孩子則應愛意不外露,對他既平等嚴肅,又呵護有加,這樣孩子才能快樂、自信、開朗,而且獨立性強。和睦的家庭有助于孩子形成開朗的性格。所以,父母必須成為孩子們的良師益友,為孩子創設良好的成一長環境,采取正確的教育方式和積極主動的態度,培養孩子們形成良好的心理素質,促進其他們德、智、體、美、勞全面發展。

                      三、做人第一,學習第二

                      “做人第一,學習第二”,通俗的說,就是要“先成人,后成才”。學校只能教給孩子知識,性格的養成則往往直接關系到孩子的一生。然而,這樣樸素的道理卻難以在教育實踐中得以落實,以升學為旨的功利主義教育已經成為孩子教育的主流。究其原因,在于整個社會對教育的評價產生了誤差。于是乎,學校教育中就自然而然地出現重智育輕德育,重學生文化課成績輕品質培養的不良傾向。

                      現在的家長都望子成龍、望女成鳳,但每個孩子之間天資有高低,成績有好壞,家長如果對孩子提出好高騖遠的要求,往往會形成孩子的不良心理。—方面會導致孩子抱負水平過高,屢戰屢敗,使孩子原有的自信心受到負面沖擊,以致孩子產生自卑心理。另一方面造成孩子心理壓力太大,動機狀態太強,對成敗得失過分看重,形成了過度的焦慮。俗話說:“知子莫若父,知女莫若母”,因此,家長應該根據孩子的實際,制定合適的培養目標,因材施教,才有利于孩子的心理健康成長,使孩子成為全面發展的高素質人才。

                      父母的言行影響孩子的性格。研究表明,在民主、和睦、文明的家庭環境里,孩子會情緒穩定、性格開朗、感情豐富、自信心強。所以,父母要首先給孩子營造—個溫馨、有安全感的家庭氛圍。其次,要滿足孩子的歸屬感,使孩子感到被愛、被尊重,不要盲目按照自己的意愿安排孩子的活動,要保留孩子合理要求的選擇權。

                      家庭是未成年人接受價值觀教育最早的地方,家庭對孩子的價值觀教育有著天然的優勢。它能優化社會風氣與生活情趣,能有效補充學校教育的不足。家庭教育在整個教育體系中與學校教育、社會教育“三足鼎立”,相輔相成。

                      真心的呼吁,所有父母對孩子多一點關懷,多一點寬容,多一點心靈的溝通,讓孩子的性格飽滿、健康,友愛,讓人與人之間多一點信任,少一點隔閡,讓孩子的世界保持一份純真。

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